Tuesday 31 January 2012

Warning...thoughts under construction.

I feel like a million and three thoughts are currently duking it out in my brain for a place in the forefront of my conscience.  I also realize as I sit here typing that I really don't love sitting and typing. I am all about handwriting and scribbling and doodling and drawing out mind-maps with connecting lines all over the place. (They communicate so much more than a bulleted list of points.) I have a handful of drafts already composed that are little more than point-form notes and seemingly disconnected thoughts. I need some time to go back and flesh out the ideas, but alas, that's not the way things have been rolling lately. BUT, all four Fabrizikins are asleep (I know!!) and I really wanted to get something out here, so by way of the lamest introduction to a blog ever, I welcome you, dear reader, to a glimpse of what is going on in my spirit, heart, and mind.  Welcome.

A few important clues as to where I am going with this thing:
1) I am crazy in love with Jesus. I want to stalk him, and become just like him. This would sound really bad if I were talking about anyone else, but because it's Jesus it's all good. Trust me on this. (Oh, and he loves me back!!)
2) "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." This is a line from a song (sorry, that is the extent of the credit I can give here and now, google it if you really want to know) and WOW! We are drenched, soaked to the bone, sopping wet in God's grace. Whether you know it or not God loves you to bits. He made the universe just so he could one day put you in it (oh, and everyone else too, but really, he actually planned YOU... amazing!) He's perfect and awesome and beyond comprehension, yet he cares about us and wants us to love him.  Awesome!
3) "All is grace" (Thank you Ann Voskamp for that one). I am re-reading "Radical Gratitude" by Mary Jo Leddy (oh please tell me I have that name right).  I am reminded that just being born would have been enough, but God has blessed me and blessed me and blessed me every day.
4) The world is messed up! I see this paranoid, hoarding, cut-throat scarcity mentality seeping into every aspect of life... and it's craziness, and destructive, and a lie.
5) Jesus came down to earth to show us his love, save us from sin, shut down religion, and set up his kingdom (thanks to Bruxy Cavey and the Meeting House for this).  And guess what, that kingdom is upside down, and indside out compared to what the world looks like now.  For starters, Jesus hung out with all the icky people (lucky for me!). Read the Gospels... I'm not making this up.
6) We are part of the plan! We get to help God by being his hands and feet in this world, and pointing others to him by loving on others.
7) Relationship is HUGELY important to God. And he is so holy and amazing, and so our gunk gets in the way and we get all funny and can't be near him like that and so he wants us to repent of our sin and snap, he forgives us and gathers us up into his big old loving arms and it's beautiful and we want to be there. Oh, so sweet.
8) This is the kind of religion that the Bible says is pleasing to God: caring for widows and oprhans in their distress. And, furthermore this is what God wants of you: to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him, our Lord. 
9) I suck big time and am woefully inadequate and unworthy of just about anything I have been given (have you seen the wonderful family I was born into, or the one I married intom or the wonderful family that my husband and I have built? Just that should be proof enough that I am ridiculously blessed more than I deserve! And all that family could tell you all kinds of stories to vouch for my claim of unworthiness!!) and yet, Jesus loved me anyways. Thanks Be To God.

What's coming up...
*Lent, the season of preparation for Easter, a time of penance and almsgiving, of getting our hearts right with God and giving generously to others, is right around the corner. I will post something about Operation Rice Bowl and other nifty ideas before lent begins (or again, visit my good friend Google for more about that).
*I'm thinking about starting a fair-trade food co-op because I love me my coffee and chocolate and want to share some of that love with the people who make it. I'll explain more and invite you to join my crew.
*some thoughts on inclusion and people who are labelled as disabled and being human and being made in God's image.  (Google Jean Vanier or Judith Snow if your curiosity is piqued).




So, three concluding thoughts:
1) I really probably should have left this as a draft and worked it into something more coherent first, but now you really know how my mind works...and I used my real name and everything in the blog title... what am i doing?
2) I hope that  I have left you simultaneously confused and intrigued enough that you'll come back for more.
3) I can not believe that all four of my children have slept long enough for me to actually write this thing! Oh wait, the baby just woke up, so...

The End.

love Jen

2 comments:

  1. Jen, this kind of writing totally flows with my thinking patterns as well.
    "...Jesus came down to earth to show us his love, save us from sin, shut down religion..." I love this statement and it's a brave one to make, I can think of a few of my friends that would take serious offence to it. When I try to explain that I don't follow any part of the Bible that doesn't Jive with Jesus' message. I sure do get a lot of raised backs. I'm like: "Who you gonna believe more? A bunch of human guys who listened to a seraphim and re-interpreted God's word, or the words out of the mouth of the son of God?" Probably just made a few other readers angry at me. Oh well people, get in line.

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  2. Amber, I love your heart! A lot of times, words can get messy and we end up shouting at people who are really saying the same things but in different ways. Our words have cultural weight added to them and are already imperfect so it's so helpful to listen to the speaker's heart (i totally need to remember to do this more) The gospel of John starts with the words : "in the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God." The "word" there is Jesus.

    I would love to point you to the book "the end of religion" by Bruxy Cavey (those words you like are his, not mine.) In fact, if you're interested, I'll buy you and mail you a copy...my gift to you. The pastor at my church is the author so they sell copies there. You might like "redletterchristians.org" or is it .com? anyway, the red letters refer to the fact that many bibles print Jesus' words in red.

    Thanks for your comments. Love to the family!

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